Dear Ọrẹolúwa,
I have never felt such deep sadness and pain in my heart and soul until that moment when you could not breathe on your own without support and the doctors agree to declare you dead. I pray I never have to feel this way again. I did not let go of your hands. I held them firmly and covered my head in your blanket praying until your body got hard. It is the worst pain anyone could experience and I would not wish it on anyone. I stayed by your side every single day—loving you, caring for you, praying with you, holding unto hope, and doing everything possible to make sure you feel safe, loved, and important. I went back the second day still hoping for a miracle. Even though you could not consciously communicate with me, your strong spirit and personality still came through. The love I feel for you and your brothers, Iyìolúwa and Àràolúwa is unlike anything I can explain or put into words. God allowing you to leave your body suddenly change me, forever. Ọrẹolúwa, God ordained you and I to go through this, even if we do not understand why right now. Even if we will never understand why, we know that everything that happen to us come from our loving God. We judge Him faithful and He never fail us. What would I not give to feel your conscious physical presence again? Every moment we shared reminds me that our love does not go away, even when we can no longer physically create similar memories. And that is what I keep holding on to. I know that you are with me in spirit and one day in glorious body form. Ọrẹolúwa, we gave each other a high quality of love that is empowering, godly, true and lasting — a rarity, a diamond exquisite in design. A love like a gentle summer breeze. We opened the windows of our soul to each other and we were comfortable and not afraid of losing them. I kissed your forehead every chance that I had. It did not bother me that your skin was cold, your body stiff and rigid, nor did it bother me that you did not respond to the words I whispered or say Amen to my prayers. A normal action every morning and evening for you and Iyìolúwa. Even now that I can no longer touch, see or kiss your precious body that we planted, I will hold on to my promise to support you and wait on you, which was you last conscious request. Ọrẹolúwa, I was not ready for your sweet voice to only exist in my memory. I was not ready to search for you everyday instead of seeing you around me. I know that you fought so hard, my love — through and through. Our gracious God helped you to know and be deeply convinced of how I care and love you. Calling you intelligent, humble, strong, wonderful, and loving hardly begin to describe you. Your love for life, Jesus, your family and people shine through in everything you do. I know that you are on a journey and you will face every joy and challenge with faith and courage. I will keep supporting causes you care deeply about. I am eternally grateful to God through our Jesus Christ that He shared you, one of his most favorite with me in a body form for 11 years, 1 month, 1 week, and 2 days.
See you soon Son!
😘💕♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💕😘
Kolade (Papa)
